Born Again
The weeks seem filled with challenges. This week, it is being sick.
I came into the hospital on Tuesday with a nasty bug of some sort and have been biding my time for the last few days here. Because I am 25 weeks pregnant I get to spend my "getting better" days, on the Maternity ward.
In my sickness I have been born again.
I have never heard such a redeeming sound than the cries of babies, fresh into this world. I have been privy to hearing these cries four or five times a day, new life springing forth into the wonder called the universe. I think of my own child, my little Rowan, rollercoastering around inside of me. I often wonder if he senses the newness of life that surrounds him....if he knows that new life is present, that there is hope for a breath for tomorrow.
In the birth of these children around me...the screaming moans of mothers, the fast paced walks of fathers in the hall, the patient care of nurses, that little scream from healthy lungs resounding these bustley halls like the sound of Christmas morning arrived...in all of this, I have found my new birth. My new hope...not even for my own troubled path. But just for the rebirth I experience each day from a creator who loves me like a new mother loves her babe. Holding it for the first time, watching him breathe and cry his way into a lifetime of beating and breathing, oh such is how the Lord holds me, new, every morning.
I am like the baby, struggling to understand this new world and to understand how to make it on my own, and like a mother, he looks down on me and says...."shhh, its ok baby. Momma is here." And as a mother is entrusted with the new responsibility of taking care of her precious child, so God is holding me. As a new born child, I place my life, my need for sustenance, my need for love, in the hands of my parent and look up at them knowing they will hold me.
I cannot wait to hold my son. I cannot wait to birth him, and see him. It makes me weak to hear of all the babies being born, healthy and strong, and alive....I can only hope these things for my son. My prayer consistent is this, " Oh father, please provide grace enough to experience this with my own son. And Father... hold us as the new mother holds her babe....fresh, new, with mercies born again every morning."
Such redemption comes in the most unexpected circumstances...
With love,
Lori & Rowan
I came into the hospital on Tuesday with a nasty bug of some sort and have been biding my time for the last few days here. Because I am 25 weeks pregnant I get to spend my "getting better" days, on the Maternity ward.
In my sickness I have been born again.
I have never heard such a redeeming sound than the cries of babies, fresh into this world. I have been privy to hearing these cries four or five times a day, new life springing forth into the wonder called the universe. I think of my own child, my little Rowan, rollercoastering around inside of me. I often wonder if he senses the newness of life that surrounds him....if he knows that new life is present, that there is hope for a breath for tomorrow.
In the birth of these children around me...the screaming moans of mothers, the fast paced walks of fathers in the hall, the patient care of nurses, that little scream from healthy lungs resounding these bustley halls like the sound of Christmas morning arrived...in all of this, I have found my new birth. My new hope...not even for my own troubled path. But just for the rebirth I experience each day from a creator who loves me like a new mother loves her babe. Holding it for the first time, watching him breathe and cry his way into a lifetime of beating and breathing, oh such is how the Lord holds me, new, every morning.
I am like the baby, struggling to understand this new world and to understand how to make it on my own, and like a mother, he looks down on me and says...."shhh, its ok baby. Momma is here." And as a mother is entrusted with the new responsibility of taking care of her precious child, so God is holding me. As a new born child, I place my life, my need for sustenance, my need for love, in the hands of my parent and look up at them knowing they will hold me.
I cannot wait to hold my son. I cannot wait to birth him, and see him. It makes me weak to hear of all the babies being born, healthy and strong, and alive....I can only hope these things for my son. My prayer consistent is this, " Oh father, please provide grace enough to experience this with my own son. And Father... hold us as the new mother holds her babe....fresh, new, with mercies born again every morning."
Such redemption comes in the most unexpected circumstances...
With love,
Lori & Rowan
Wow, Lori. You put words to paper so beautifully. It is an amzing gift. I hope you will keep writing about your journey - maybe you can publish a book one day. I have often thought about it :o)
ReplyDeleteI also commend you for staying so positive. That too is a great gift. Stay strong girl!
You and Rowan are in our prayers every day!