Mary.

As I am laying in my soft, cozy bed with the fire lit and the dogs sleeping at my feet… 

I can't help but shed a little tear for Christmas. 

I don't know what it is… 

Perhaps the lifetime of heart wrenching tragedy striking at Christmases past. 

Or the sadness my heart holds that my parents (after 24 years of being divorced) are not together at this season that means so much to me. 

Or that my heart is divided between the joy of my living son Julian, 

and the sadness of my heavenly child Rowan.

Or maybe it is the little burden I bear for Mary. 

Im not sure how you connect to the bible and how it plays out in the daily life you live, but for myself I feel this deep, kindred connection to Mary, mother of Jesus. I know that sounds a little {ok, a lot} righteous. For me… being a mom… I feel so connected to the mother who was Mary. 

When you read the Christmas story and actually think about the reality of what happened in her life, and her story… I can't help but connect to the mothering heart that bore [the Savior] of the world that clear, starry night. 

Think about it...

Jewish marrying age typical of the time period was 14-15. 

So here we have it… 

Teenage Mary…

9 months pregnant… {riding on a donkey for hours}

Labouring… 

Giving birth… {Without drugs, laughing gas, birthing pools, doctors, or exercise balls}

In a barn… {birthing on the dirt and manure laden floor}

To the saviour of the entire world… {which in itself would be beyond humbling and overwhelming, Im sure} 

And, as promised in marriage to Joseph and visited by the angel… she had this to say:

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, 

for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.


From now on all generations will call me blessed, 

for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name."

And then came the piercing cry of the baby boy who had just exited the womb of this teenage girl. 

Who was here as babe, but born as Savior. 

Who nursed on his mother and lay bare on her chest. 

Who came so vulnerable and so naturally into the world. This world that is starting wars over power and money, killing ones own brother for dollars and esteem…

On that quiet night the same Savior, whose tiny fingers and toes were touched by this new mother, whose new father watched over the birth of his first born son… 

He came this way. 

He came to save the world as much on that day as he does on this day. 

And I can't help but think, as a proud mother myself, that she was glowing in the birth of her new child that night…the amazing journey that God had taken her on to get to this point of being a mother to the Savior of the world. 

That she shed a tear when she saw that baby boy Jesus. 

Like the same tear I shed tonight as the thankfulness wells up inside of me and pours over in my heart, for the amazing gift of Christmas and all the wonder and awe that was the birth of Jesus Christ. 

For the same feeling she felt as she watched the once baby, hang on a cross to take away the sin of the world.

Messiah 

Yahweh 

Giver of Life… 

Oh Jesus, be in this mothering heart tonight. 

                                                       {You're Here by Francesca Battistelli}