Falling in Love

Its October...
Fall has arrived.
The fire is on, the child is sleeping, the tv is on its usual sports channel...

And my heart is breaking.

Today my heart feels loss. Mothers without their babies, wives without their husbands, sons without fathers. I have been reminded this month how close to hold those you love and to tell them everyday that you are so deeply in love with them.

This month, I have wept for several mothers who have lost their babies.... they have not been able to hear that first cry. They haven't been able to touch the soft skin of their babies warm bodies.  Their dreams and souls have been shattered and hearts broken.  And all that is left is tears and unsurmountable pain.

This moment where you meet your baby, and at the same time have to say goodbye...this moment cannot be explained or described. It cannot be felt unless you are walking that path.  And I so pray you never have to walk that path.

It is so difficult to have so much joy and so much pain all at the same time.  I consider myself the lucky one because I get to hold the flesh of my flesh, I am able to be up to the wee hours of morning with my crying baby.  Because he is alive and he is here. Such joy.

But there are mothers who's arms are empty and as tears are streaming onto these keys I type....my heart breaks.

I am broken for you dear mother who is yearning for the sweet baby you had to leave at that hospital.  As you walked away from there empty handed and returned to your quiet home... I know the emptiness, I know the hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach.  I know the dreams, crushed.

Oh Mother, I break for you.

HE breaks for you. This father God who is looking down on you and is secretly holding you and carrying you as your heels are being bore into a path you never wanted to walk. He is there.

Hold on.

I pray in this hour, this moment that you know how much you are loved.  Your baby is not forgotten.  The world has stopped for a moment and we remember.  Your pain is understood.  Your heart is being carried by the prayers of us, heart broken for you, and by a heavenly father, who is silently weeping with you.

You are not forgotten, and you are loved.

Amen



*"The time between meeting and finally leaving is sometimes called falling in love."*
* For Madisyn, Quinn, baby M, baby F and mother, Kai, Rowan, Taryn, baby W, Noah, and all the other sweet babies whose mothers are broken without you.*